Darren Lewis 10/12/10

Nothing much of interest this morning really but felt duty bound to moan/comment on a couple of things once Darren had finished sticking the knife into Alan Pardew at Newcastle.

Firstly and to set the scene, there were some comments attributed to Joe Hart at City's training ground yesterday regarding the lack of press photographers:

"they don't turn up if we win"

Be careful what you wish for Joe; Darren reports on a practice match at Carrington. Yes, that's right, a report on a practice match, in a training session, on television, reporting on a report in a newspaper which was itself based on a report by a fan, lifted off bluemoon-mcfc.co.uk,  quoted pretty much to the word :

"...of the two  teams, one looked suspiciously like the team that will take the field against West Ham... worryingly for Mancini, they won 5-0 with a hattrick from Roque Santa Cruz, a player who can't get anywhere near the starting XI..."


So they we have it, get some money on West Ham. Here's the plaguiarised original article -

City's fight club - telegraph

And finally, be sure to read down to the bottom of that article, where we learn that Alec Ferguson has banned players from wearing snoods. We know this because it's in the Sun and because Fergie's representative on twitter, rio ferdy, says so. We get all the big stories on K&C!

He he - Redknapp the liar

Sorry, busy week...

He he - Redknapp the liar

Loyalty Schmoyalty
'Chris Hughton's sacking at Newcastle merely confirms what I have known for ages - in football there is no such thing as loyalty,' 'writes' Harry Redknapp in The Sun.

Certainly, there is no greater expert on the lack of loyalty in football than Redknapp.

This is the man who declared that Portsmouth would be his last job in football, said loud and clear that he "would never go down the road" to Southampton, turned down Newcastle in January 2008 citing 'loyalty' and then left for Tottenham in October saying it was "a big opportunity to manage a big club before I retire".

History has since been re-written by Redknapp, who now claims: 'When I went back to manage Portsmouth from Southampton, the team was bottom of the Premier League. We stayed up by the skin of our teeth with a remarkable run of results.

'Yet the club was changing hands. Milan Mandaric was selling up to Sasha Gaydamak, and I knew the new man was hoping to bring in someone else in my place.

'I even knew who it was, but am not prepared to name names. So despite all that effort and an impressive achievement, I was on my way out.

'That's part of the reason why I left for Tottenham...'

Firstly, Portsmouth were not bottom of the Premier League table when Redknapp returned to Portsmouth - they were third from bottom and just three points from safety. Their survival was far from a miracle.

And secondly and more pertinently, Redknapp is now claiming that he left Portsmouth because Milan Mandaric was selling the club and he saw the writing on the wall.

Mandaric sold the club in the summer of 2006. Redknapp signed a new Portsmouth deal in October 2007. He left for Tottenham in October 2008.

Darren Lewis SSN 26/11/10

Darren's reinforcing his reputation as one of Fleet Street's top bullshitters with his fine work on Talksport, and this morning's SSN appearance saw the lad's fine vein of bollocks continue.

He started off with a subject he evidently knows fuck all about, cricket, and began sticking it to the English players in Australia.

Just to give this a bit of context, England had a bad day yesterday, but there were bright spots. It certainly was not as bad as previous Ashes openers in recent memory, finishing all out for 260 after a nervous start on day one of a 25 day series.

Day 2 has been much more successful, and barring an unfortunate early end due to the weather England could have been pretty much on equal terms by the end of the day's play.

Darren is exceedingly unimpressed however, and told us so. John Davies asked "isn't it a bit early to be writing England off, after the first day?"

"No, because it's how you start..."

No Darren, the accepted sporting wisdom is 'it's not how you start, it's how you finish'. Best stick to footballers, gossip and bollocks, and stop making a tit of yourself.

Which leads nicely onto something he knows lots about, Wayne Rooney.

Wayne's done an interview in the last 24 hours because "he owed the Manchester United fans an apology". Darren used the word "contrite" on several occasions, but the quotes in wide circulation attributed to Rooney don't really match up.

Let's be honest, when has any footballer ever taken responsibility for anything they've ever done, let alone shown any contrition? This precludes that they should even need to to be contrite obviously...

The Rooney saga was simply the usual manner in which top players conduct contract negotiations with Manchester United; club refuses to pay massive wages, player puts it in the public arena, Bacon Face calls in journo harem to report little-boy-lost-bottom-lip-trembling press conference performance (they lap it up naturally), flash mob turns up at Rooney's house and puts the frighteners on his missus, the press turn on Rooney as if he's Josef Fritzl's much more sadistic scouse brother, and eventually he signs a contract stating "I never wanted to leave".

Darren's take on it all:

"It's not Wayne's fault he's the best player in the world..."

Christ on a bike.

Shaun Custis - hyperbole & Freudian slip special 09/11/10

Early quote of the day for Shaun:

"Andy Caroll going into Newcastle is like George Best going into Manchester"

Genius; that's the quote rather than Andy Caroll obviously.

The Mirror back page features a pre-derby story attributing quotes to Carlos Tevez

 - "I wish Roo had joined me here at City".

 Shaun quipped:

"...it's understandable, he played for Rooney at Manchester United..."

Mick Dennis Masterclass 4/11/10

Please Sky, can we have Mick Dennis on every morning?

"I'm ignoring the script this morning... most stories are about the results in last night's Champions League games... and going straight for Ronaldo's dive, the back page headline of my paper"

Good work Mick...

"Now onto my pet subject, the Olympic Stadium, Tottenham & West Ham..."

OK, carry on...

"And the final story, my pet subject, referees..."

It's the Darren Lewis show...

The Rooney Saga rumbles on like the SS Titanic heading inexorably toward the iceberg.
Does Darren Lewis make the tea at The Mirror? I ask because he doesn't appear to have a lot of input into the 'sports journalism thing'. The Mirror back page leads with "Rooney - I want to stay" but when asked "how can it be?" he said:

"I don't know... I can't see it myself... but this is football..."

So there you have it from the horses mouth, the story is bullshit so don't bother reading it.

Mick Dennis; the gift that keeps on giving...

Mick back on top form this morning with his brand of bewildering toddler's logic, explaining to the SSN public why a 1-0 win over Turkish Side Bursaspor (who are yet to secure a Champions League point) proves that United are, indeed, still a top team:

"...Look at the stats; over 60% of the possession, 60% of the territory, that's not the mark of a team in decline..."

Mike Wedderburn openly stifled a 'guffaw'.

McCarthy 20/10/10

More spin than the Electrolux spin dryer production line this morning, with everyone spinning in the same direction. A quick sample of the press will give you the general flavour of things, but suffice to say there isn't much sympathy for Wayne Rooney. I'm not going to bother with links, you know how to use Google...

Paul McCarthy played a blinder this morning, using lots of emotive language like 'denegration', 'disrespect' and shed some light on the current state of the press's awkward relationship with SAF:

"Sir Alex has been at war with the press of late... he's stopped doing the Carrington press conference, he won't do interviews after the games..."

Paul stopped short of telling us what we already know, in that he only speaks to a couple of journalists nowadays -

"...we were expecting to get a couple of questions to him at most which he'd answer, dripping with sarcasm as usual, but this was different... you could see the emotion, he spoke for six and a half minutes and the room was silent, tears in his eyes..."

He added something about it being like a religious ceremony with 'everyone transfixed' but I was biting my fist so hard at the time that I missed the exact quote.

Hopefully this goes some way toward describing the one-way, sycophantic nature of this morning's coverage, and I look forward to round two where Rooney tells us how SAF murdered his pet gerbil or shat in an orphan's dinner. 

SS / SSN wrap-up...

Pointless writing up the last few days separately to be honest, there's only been one story of note since the Liverpool sale went through and it's been pretty well documented in every section of the press.
So what can we safely assume from the last few days revelations?

There's been a serious fall-out with within the Manchester United dressing room. Common sense may then  lead us to assume that this probably began with the Rooney / prostitute stories a number of weeks back. Throw into the mix that he's getting towards the last 18 months of his contract and the rumours around Manchester that Ferguson will step down at the end of next season, the not insignificant losses in the United financial accounts, the lack of form of the ageing team and particularly the younger Rooney (falling below MCFC FFS!) and we have a potent mix of ingredients to help fuel the bonfire lit under the Glazer's financial wreckage that was formerly fortress MUPLC.

Now we're into spin & counter-spin from the two parties; team Rooney kicked it off by putting out the story that he has no intention of signing a new contract. This has been countered by rumour that he wants £200K per week, but no attributable quotes from either side. Today we hear that SAF hasn't spoken to Rooney for a month; there's also innuendo that Rooney's looking to MCFC for a move... I await tomorrow's instalment with bated breath.

Putting all that aside, it is our job to report what our honourable sports press are saying about it.
Surpisingly (not) there seems to be a lot of sympathy for MUFC. There was a fantastic comment on the Sunday Supplement, which has subsequently been repeated by a number of  journalists:

"...we want to see Wayne Rooney stay at United, not at any other English club...I can't see him settling in Spain..."

I apologise I can't pinpoint exactly who said that (I listened to the podcast) but I believe it may have been Neil Ashton. If it wasn't, sorry Neil...
Here's a typically dewy-eyed piece from Henry Winter:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/teams/manchester-united/8071962/Henry-Winter-Manchester-United-striker-Wayne-Rooney-should-feel-the-love.html

And Shaun Custis:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3186095/Its-all-about-the-money-for-Wayne-Rooney.html

If you have time, be sure to read the full Henry Winter column; his parting shot at Gordon Strachan shows how personal relationships colour the reporter's language. For the sake of balance, let us consider that Gordon resigned from his post and has forgone any compensation which may have been due to him if sacked.

So, a giant has left our lives

A man of this earth, this country and this town, not of some imaginary idyll, a man full of life, who helped give life to a joyous period of Saturday afternoons and midweek evenings when the rain and the dogshite were invisible, a period smelling of Greenhalls and Bovril, Senior Service and the UCP.  His story started way before us but hopefully ended with us in his memory and his heart.

There are many things I love about Mal and always will do, but the main one is that the more you learn about him the more you are in awe.  How on earth as a young player do you take over the coaching of a club from the manager and then set in progress a regime that produced some of the most aesthetic footballers ever to grace this country's football pitches?  A regime that lasted decades after he left.   How do you do that?  It is Churchillian, perhaps it is something in the combination of the best cigars and champagne.

His ability to annoy and disrupt authority was also a joy to behold, while looking and behaving much more Saturday Night Fever than the Last Night at the Electric Circus this was a man who could claim to have inspired punk rock football management and employed some proto-punk rock footballers - many for Our Very Own.  His bans his arguments and his insults were pure box-office.  His verbal assassinations of Mullery, Atkinson and Bond were worthy of the highest debating chambers.

Just taking these attributes you would have him down as the blueprint for the special one but that is ignoring him being part of the most beautiful partnership you could wish.  A supernova lighting up my childhood with a glow that will supplied me with central heating for the rest of my life.   An explosion that generated the stars that still play football in my dreams.  I close my eyes and every night it can play out, not wishful thinking but things I have seen with my own eyes.

I have read some half baked comments today and no doubt over the next few days we will get lots more. Serious political journalists and dark hearted internet trolls bringing up the the subject of the second coming.   Most who have commented were not there, those that were appear to have forgotten the facts, the decline that had already started, the players that had become too big for their boots.   The problem was not the decision to bring him back the problem was, despite full knowledge of Mal's strengths and weaknesses, our owner decided no brakes were needed, money we didn't have could be spent.  There was total abdication of responsibility.

And then having sat back authorised the transactions and invited the television round to watch, he had what can only be described as a rectal prolapse.  Mal was gone, tears were shed by the players on tv and me in my bedroom.

I suppose there was some sense in employing one of Mal's disciples to replace him, but what a poor one we got.  The three signings were good but were no more than should have been expected from a professional manager outside looking in at another's problems.  And then he became like Eddy the Eagle on the 90m jump, yes we got to the final but finished last and crashed into a tree breaking all our bones.

Nothing will convince me Mal wouldn't have built a better club given a chance and an owner/board of directors growing some bollocks.   I might be wrong but I don't think so, I had seen what the big man could achieve and I think was well on the way to producing a belting team.  I suppose I may be biased but then again I continue to be haunted by THAT tv documentary showing the tv salesman trading in the Panasonic for an Alba.

And its that end that might leave a sour taste, but it doesn't because he gave me much more joy than that hurtful episode could ever take away.

They say you should never meet your heroes, that is of course bunkum, when you met Malcolm he was exactly what you expected.   You could feel Big Mal's presence in the room, there was no act, no pretence, no acting he was the show, a true giant.  Every time he appeared on tv, in the press, in a dug out, directors box or pub and you had the honour to witness it your day, your life was improved.

Bye Mal and thanks.

JB

SSN Darren Lewis 15/10/10

Darren Lewis defended Danny Murphy regarding comments attributed to him during his recent 'outburst' on tackling, stating that Danny never mentioned 

"...players going out to maim, injure or kill other players... he definitely did not say that".

So the question is, where did these comments come from?

That kind of language was used in follow up pieces in all the tabloids, so it's a tad hypocritical for Darren (or anyone else within the tabloid press for that matter) to try and take some kind of moral high ground here. This would have been in contention for a "journalism in the 3rd person quote of the week" award, until I read this quote in The Sun from Sam Allardyce -

"Danny Murphy doesn't know about Sam Allardyce because he's never been managed by Sam Allardyce or coached by Sam Allardyce."
Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/premteams/blackburn_rovers/3180597/Sam-demands-Murphy-apology.html#ixzz12PY1gB00

Followers of @the_big_sam on twitter will probably notice more than a passing similarity...

Sunday Supplement 10/10/10

A brief report on this week's podcast highlighting a few notable bits of flim-flam, international breaks limit the amount of tawdry bollocks available for discussion.
Patrick Barclay first with a perplexing analogy in reference to Nigel de Jong's tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa, which is still considered worthy of debate despite the FA seeing no case to answer after 7 days of the witch hunt:

"It's like a drunk driver climbing into his car, he doesn't mean to kill the six year old girl but that is what often happens..."

Wow. Quote of the week right there. We can only assume that Paddy was nursing a particularly painful hangover on Sunday morning.
And best wishes to Hatem Ben Arfa in his rehab obviously.

Neil Custis, David to Shaun's Ed, then gave us a peak into his world regarding the current state of the England team:

"My son won't even wear his England shirt, he'll wear his United shirt instead..."

(His son is 28 years old in case you were wondering)*

And an insight into the Manchester City dressing room 'maelstrom':

"I can't repeat what Mancini said to Tevez, but it wasn't very pleasant"

When he says he "can't repeat it" we should take this as shorthand to mean "he doesn't know".

SSN - S. Custis

The line between opinion pieces and factual reporting gets ever fainter; non-story of the week is the England captaincy going back to the fit-again Rio Ferdinand. Steven Gerrard, when asked last week, had stated that if fit he expected Ferdinand would regain the armband. Very sensible, in that he was Capello's choice way back when. Henry Winter's opinion on this 'story' :

http://www.telegraph.co.ukl...Capello-may-regret-relieving-Steven-Gerrard-of-captaincy.html

Hyperbole and bullshit naturally, but Shaun lifted the lid on Henry's motive for such a piece...

"Henry should declare an interest here, having written Gerrard's biography..." he stated with a chuckle, before adding "mind you, so should I having written Rio Ferdinand's...".

Last night's Monday Night Club on Radio Five Live discussed the same story where 'the Scottish one' (sorry I'm terrible with names) stated that after being told he wasn't going to captain the side, Gerrard "...stormed off to bed." Of even greater concern was the fact that Capello then neglected to tell Ferdinand he would be captaining the side "...until the following morning."

Nearly makes you wish Rooney would climb into bed with another prostitue...

Unnecessary tackle

After a week of assorted 'journalists' and fuckwitted fans calling for Nigel de Jong to be retrospectively punished for not committing an offence in the execution of a fair tackle, suspended for as long as Ben Arfa is recuperating - Ian Wright and John Collins, you thick twats - or hung-drawn-and-quartered, here's a reminder that Old Ginger Man Time, Player Of The Year 2011 (winner decided in August 2010), just can't tackle < chuckle >.

Sunday Supplement 19/09/10

One of the few revelations worth mentioning on this weeks SS is an admission of cosy client journalism by the assembled panel, regarding Arsene Wenger & the London press. A flippant comment was made by John Richardson about "...the London press..." being "...in Arsene's pocket".
This was following on from John getting some gentle ribbing about being one of only two sycophantic journalists that Alex Ferguson bothers speaking to, which may well be where the comment originated. Rather than denying the charge, Rob Beasley decided to paint a picture of how things work in such lofty circles; it's hard to pick up whether this was tongue-in-cheek from the podcast but I didn't detect much mirth from his colleagues:
"...Amanda, the press officer at Arsenal, who's sadly leaving the post, always really looks after us all when we visit the club... she spends WELL over the budget on food for us... naturally, this means we give Arsene a bit of latitude and show some sympathy - no - empathy, with what he says...".

Mick Dennis Quote of the Week

After a torrid couple of days for the organisers of the Commonwealth Games with tales of dogshit & dengue fever, housewives's favourite Mick Dennis got all "geo-political" this morning as he delivered his verdict on the problems in Dehli:

"...India, with a population of 1 billion, and soon to be one of the largest economies in the world, deemed important enough for the Prime Minister to visit leading a trade delegation from the UK... there's a bit more at stake than a few athletes worrying about faulty plug sockets...".

You really couldn't make it up.

Mick Dennis 09/09/10

If I'm honest, I've been disappointed in recent days by the lack of copy for K&C, but a veritable tour de force of unrelenting bollocks from Mick Dennis this morning, he is truly becoming the enthusiast's bullshitter.

He began with the revelation that Capello will quit the England post when his contract expires after Euro 2012, at the age of 66, following a direct & honest answer to a question posed by Shaun (or Neil, one of the two...) Custis at the latest press conference:

The Sun...

This is the second time the football press have been thrown off guard by a candid answer to a straight question. Would the press prefer it if he avoided the question, or lied?
In typical 'glass half empty' fashion Mick countered this by saying that Fabio "...won't have that choice, should he have a couple of bad results..." in the ongoing qualification campaign. Knives obviously still out for Capello then.
He then added that there'd be plenty of speculation about Fabio's successor over the next two years, but that the FA "...have painted themselves into a corner..." by saying the next manager will be English. Mick isn't convinced there is a decent candidate, believing Woy Hodgson will be 'too old' and that "the FA, for whatever reason, don't seem to think Harry Redknapp is the right choice". Maybe he needs to delve into his employer's archives and read some of the stories regarding Harry's numerous brushes with the law & the tax man in recent times to find a reason why the FA might be avoiding him. Shades of Terry Venables, Mick?

Onto the other other story that will not die - Wayne Rooney. He trotted out some nonsense about him "...literally..." going back home to Colleen (is there another way?), then it turned into a bit of a stutterers convention as Mick shoehorned in a smug anecdote about how he predicted Rooney would have a "great game" after last weekend's controversy, just as he did in 2006 after he'd been caught stuck up some pensioner. Mick, you are indeed a master of your art. Take some notes with you next time though eh?
Mick then instructed the Everton fans not to bother booing Rooney on Saturday as "it won't bother him"... It will, in fact, "make him play better". Wedderburn raised his eyebrows at that statement, as would anyone with a memory longer than 24 hours which is approximately how much time has elapsed since SSN played that clip of Wayne having his little rant-ette after a typically poor performance in South Africa.

Final story (about 15 seconds worth) was the news that Gerard Houllier is now in charge at Villa. Mick was "amazed" that it warranted so little press coverage (third person quote of the day), after spending 15 minutes waffling on about what can be best described as 'tittle-tattle'.

Ugly Bloke Pays Prostitute for Sex shocker!!!

Roll on the weekend and a return to Premiership fixtures...

Still haven't had chance to listen to last weekend's SS but I can guess its main content; the last couple of mornings paper reviews have been the usual assorted sensationalist drivel about England but the most repeated mantra appears to be that we, as football fans, "demand" stories about our idols behaving like council estate scrotes (no offence, council estate scrotes). It certainly doesn't seem to harm the tabloid's sales figures, but I would suggest that the people who "...have an enormous appetite for..." these kind of stories aren't the kind of football fans that I'm acquainted with.
Still, there's another few inches of text for them to put towards the figures so maybe they're right afterall.

Club That Hit The Jackpot Insist Money Can Buy Love In Long Term

(c) kipper @ bluevibe / The Thunderer.

James Ducker says Manchester City are creating more than just blue-sky thinking two years after Sheik Mansour changed the game's landscape.

To all but the handful of people who knew what was about to unfold, August 31 2008, was just going to be another day in the life of Manchester City.

"I was scratching around for some information on a player from Syria we were looking around to sign on a free transfer," Dave Fallows the club's scouting and recruitment coordinator said. "Then club secretary Bernard Halford put down his pork pie, farted, picked up the phone and said "are you sure you're not after Manchester United? This is Manchester City" the caller said "No!" and the news broke. "BERLUDDY HELL!" said Bernard.

It is two years today since ADUG swept into Manchester signing Robinho for a British record £34.2 million fee as a "signal of our very real intent" and changing the face of a football club that had become a byword for mediocrity but the landscape of football in the process.

To their critics they have become "big, bad City", a club hellbent on ruining football with their "kamikaze" spending and whose brashness is embodied in a loose-tonged chief executive and the shoddy handling of Mark Hughes' sacking as a manager last December.

Even now the mind boggles at the sums involved - more than £350 million on 21 new signings almost £500 million committed in wages - but the accusation of recklessness are at odds with the work that has been taking place behind the scenes.

A degree of scepticism surrounds Sheik Mansour's insistence, first spelt out in his open letter to City supporters that he is "a long-term investor" but while he has made no secret of desire to fast-track the club to success, the foundations are being laid to create a sustainable legacy even if people have often been hypnotised by the billionaire's largesse to take notice.

"The owners have been clear from the start that there would have been little point making such a significant capital expenditure in the playing squad if we did not also look to put into place a truly world class infrastructure that would enable the club to achieve its goals"
Garry Cook, City Chief Exec.

It would be wrong to suggest the City of old were dysfunctional - the academy has produced 31 graduates to the first team, 65 professional footballers and 12 internationals since it was set up in 1998 so the club were doing something right - but Cook like his Abu Dhabi paymasters, was shocked to discover the lack of a professional.cohesive structure in place.

No one, for example, knew something as basic as the number of staff employed (the figure now stands at 359) things were often done on a whim and information, scouting reports included, tended to be stored in people's heads, or on the back of one of Bernard's envelopes, and not on computer or database so if they moved on, it was lost for ever. An air of disillusionment hung around the place.

Adopting an ethos of "aggressive patience" as Simon Pearce the ADUG director of communications calls it, City set about changing the culture.

Now all employees have have pensions, life assurance and free BUPA healthcare and get the chance to rub shoulders with the players at quarterly meetings designed to bring everyone at the club up to speed with the latest developments. The idea is to make the tea lady feel as included as Carlos Tevez.

Staff who have served the club for 20 years or more are given a free holiday to a European destination of their choice and £1000 spending money. Unfortunately, Bernard Halford caught a stomach bug on his "Ten Day Coach Tour of the English Riviera" and spent a week in Torbay Hospital, Torquay with explosive diarrhoea.

"In terms of environment the is unrecognisable from what it was two years ago, even if we very purposefully looked to ensure throughout that it has never lost its identity or the soul that makes it so special. If anything, we have sought to build on that, to try to bring fans, people closer to the club than before, all the while raising standards of professionalism to new levels"
Cook.

City surveyed more than 20,000 fans across the age ranges over an 18-month period to establish what they wanted before embarking on £9 million investment in supporter-related-infrastructure. Some said they could not get a beer quickly enough at half-time, so multipour pumps were introduced. An indoor ticket office was built so fans would not get soaked standing in the rain. Marco Pierre White and Paul Heathcote, the world renowned sausage flippers chefs provided food on match days. Hundreds of children will soon be able to play game consoles in the concourses of the vastly over-hauled family stand.

Nowhere is the attention to detail more noticeable than in the "player-care" department. Within six days of signing from Aston Villa for Manchester City James Milner had a newly furnished house, right down to the cappucino carpet that the England's midfield player's girlfriend Amy wanted in their lounge. There are three preferred tenders for each service the club offer from tree surgeons to cosmetic surgeons, while a multi-lingual four man team are on 24 hour call to cater for the players' every need.

Some may say it is the players being pampered to the point where they can't do anything for themselves. City argue that it is necessary to allow them to solely concentrate on football.

"The club's ambition on the pitch had to be mirrored off it and we hope that it is beginning to take shape. There is a lot still to do. In many respects the real hard work starts now, with the next few years promising to be one of the most exciting and we hope successful chapters in Manchester City's history"
Cook.

Almost £4.5 million has been spent turning Carrington into a first class training facility and a further £3.7 million improving the academy at Platt Lane, but soon they may be under the same roof.

City have recently acquired 80 acres of land in Openshaw West with a view to relocating the entire set up to a site ten times the size of the existing base.

As an indication of what might lie in store, the club have spent the last 18 months visiting and analysing the best sporting facilities around the globe. Commercially, £1 million has been spent on transforming the club's website.

An Arabic version of the website was launched in February and a Spanish and Portuguese one will be imminently. Previously there were two lead sponsors, now there are ten.

"There's an opinion that we are abandoning the youth system because we are just going to keep buying players. That's actually the antithesis of what we're trying to do"
Cook.

For all the money lavished on players, the principal goal is to create a youth system to to rival and better clubs such as Arsenal City did not have a scouting network as such two years ago, now they have 11 full time scouts.

The aim according to Fallows, is two-fold, - first to ensure the likes of Ryan Giggs do not slip through their grasp and second to produce or unearth players good enough to go on to play not a handful but hundreds of first team games.

Many questions remain.The 1-0 defeat at Sunderland proved what a tough task City will have qualifying for the Champions League this season, let alone winning the title, while one wonders how a club that posted losses of £92.6 million for the year ending May 2009 can ever hope to "break even"? And how will UEFA's impending financial fair-play rules affect them?

All will be answered in time but nothing will quell their ambition.

Sheik's Mansour's spending in two years at City

£488m
committed on wages of new signings.

£355m
purchasing new players

£210m
buying club

£9m
improving stadium and fan related infrastructure

£4.5m
overhauling Carrington

£3.7m
expanding Platt Lane academy

£3.1m
Building "City at Home" offices

£2m
investing in local and global community projects

TOTAL COMMITTED OUTLAY

£1.08 BILLION

26/08/10 Mick Dennis on SSN

"Watching Peter Crouch last night I thought, if only he'd played in South Africa things might have been very different..."

SSN (in HD) review...

Paul McCarthy back to Capello bashing this morning, and the headline of the day by the thinking man's moron, Shaun Custis:

The Sun

Onto the interview given by Jose Mourinho yesterday on Sky and this interpretation by Neil Moxley:

The Mail

Paul also added that Jose "...agrees with Sir Alex about Man City's kamikaze spending"
How ironic.

The we got 'journalistic third person quote of the day':


"A couple of poor results in the upcoming games and I can see the press really turning on Capello"

The stupidity of comparing transfer fees

Inevitably this week, twitterland was full of incredulity from supposed respected journalists that Ozil and Khedira moved to Real Madrid for the same combined fee as James Milner moved to Manchester City for.

The comparisons were not surprising, but still deeply depressing. So I wrote a quick blog.

http://www.footballfancast.com/2010/08/football-blogs/ridiculous-you-may-as-well-compare-joe-cole-and-chris-smalling

Wanted dead or alive

Preferably dead.

Sports hack fears for job

This wasn't in the script. The wank comic this fella writes for doesn't DO questioning manU. Tut, tut, David: you won't be getting an invite to the Sunday Supplement breakfast table for knitwear and croissants any time soon with this kind of factual comment piece...

Revealed: the envious truth behind Fergie's 'kamikaze' spending dig at Manchester City

David McDonnell

So Sir Alex Ferguson thinks Manchester City's mega summer spending spree is "kamikaze" and the wrong way to go about achieving sustainable success.

This from the man who has broken the British transfer record on no fewer than three occasions and who has operated at the so-called "kamikaze" end of the market for more than a decade.

This from the man whose own club distorted values in the current transfer market by demanding a world record £80m fee for Cristiano Ronaldo when Real Madrid came knocking again last summer and refused to take no for an answer.

And this from the man who this week admitted he spent £7m on unknown Portuguese striker Bebe, without having seen him play live or even watched footage of him on video. If that's not "kamikaze" spending, then I don't know what is.

The Manchester united boss has spent the summer declaring there is no value in the current transfer market which, he claims, is the reason he has spent so frugally, just £24m in the close season compared to City's £130m outlay on six players.

That is clearly a smokescreen to mask the true picture, the financial constraints Fergie is now working under at united, against the backdrop of the £716m debt the Glazers have plunged the club into, which has restricted the freedom the Old Trafford boss used to enjoy when it came to spending.

The days when Fergie could spent vast sums like £29m on Rio Ferdinand, £28m on Juan Sebastian Veron or £30m on Dimitar Berbatov are over. The united boss claims the money from the sale of Ronaldo is there for him to spend should he wish, but even the most ardent united fan knows that is patently untrue.

Fergie is now operating at a different level in the market and his "kamikaze" jibe seems to be born out of a grudging acceptance of that fact, when he too would like the unlimited riches that Mancini has at his disposal.

Mancini offered a compelling and articulate defence of City's spending on the eve of the club's Europa League tie against Timisoara in Romania, pointing out that the likes of United and Chelsea had spent years doing the same and now it was the turn of his club.

His predecessor, Mark Hughes, freely admitted City were packing the work of several transfer windows into one or two in an effort to catch up with the likes of united and Chelsea, and shake up the established order of the Premier League. And in a free market economy, who can blame them if they have the resources to do so?

There is no getting away from the fact City have spent exorbitant sums in the transfer market this summer, but what Fergie has failed to acknowledge is that Roberto Mancini has invested in young players who are likely to benefit the club for years, the only exception being 27-year-old former Barcelona midfielder Yaya Toure.

But in David Silva, 24, James Milner, 24, Jerome Boateng, 21, Mario Balotelli, 20 and Aleksandar Kolarov, 24, Mancini has bought players whose best years are ahead of them and who should ultimately prove value for money for City in the long term if that proves to be the case.

And if City do win the title this season or in the coming years as they inevitably will do, given the financial backing they now have, Fergie's "kamikaze" dig will look as hollow as the current Old Trafford coffers.

Steven Howard is a fuckwit

This man has written the bitterest, most clichéd football article of the week. Can't be arsed linking to the disgraceful rabbit hutch liner that he writes for, there is a clue below though. In a week of unparalleled bilious bollocks, written mainly about one particular club, this is some feat. If you ever see Steven Howard at the match (probably at White Hart Lane, as the sorry cunt appears to be a poisonous Spurs fan), you know what to do.

19/08/2010 SSN bollocks of the day

Deary me. Mick Dennis has a 'lucid moment':

"You need massive resources to compete in the Premier League nowadays"

It appears he's just realised this,

"there aren't enough oil oligarchs to go around"

which is a debatable point obviously,

"The Premier league is top-heavy"

regarding the rich clubs, and

"...this is unfair".


It's taken 18 years to get to this level of enlightenment. Next week, Mick is set to reveal that the Pope is Catholic and bears shit in the woods...

Curry Club 17/08/10

Deary me, five-chins Curry does not get any better :

"Joe Cole's ridiculous red card against Man City last weekend..."

"Referees tend to stick together do they not?"

"Joe's a true hero on Merseyside after just one and a half games"

Big up for Howie...

Another excellent piece by friend of the fan(s) , Howard Hockin. Look at the quotes on page three and try to put names to them - go on, it's easy...

why-football-supporters-feel-the-need-to-defend-their-corner

Bad transvestite

More unadulterated bullshit from prize prat, Brian Woolnough. I won't even link to the appalling comic for which he writes this bollocks.

"No sympathy either for Steve Coppell who has done another quick vanishing act by walking out on Bristol City. Coppell has now retired from management. It smacks of Manchester City all over again when Coppell walked away soon after arriving because he couldn’t get on with the then chairman, Peter Swales."

Steve Coppell was Manchester City manager from 6th October 1996 to 8th November 1996. Peter Swales died 2nd May 1996.

Prize twat Neil Ashton

Mamma Mia! It's Dumb & Dumber

Thick as pig shit. And him too. (PG).

Painful prime time viewing on MCN (formerly known as SSN). An eternally confused, speech-impeded, non-Irish Cockney-Italian and a bitter, biased Scotch-Italian. You know the clichés -"City have got too many players" and "I don't see them doing anything" from Antonio Cascarino and "City have more unhappy players than they do happy" and "They are just buying any player that is available" from Luigi Macari. These fuckwits actually get a fee for this shit. Meanwhile, quality and insightful amateur journalism goes unheralded except by those wot know.

Coming soon...

Tales from the Tabs 13/08/10

The story that will not die is Curry's primary target (again), nothing has changed but here are the quotes of the day:

"Cappello is a dead man walking"


"Once the vultures begin to circle, ie the press, your days are numbered"

So nothing to do with Steve, you understand. Wonder what the press would have been like if England had lost?

Tabloid review 12/08/10

Mick Dennis really needs to get out more.

"[David Beckham] has given me my finest moments as an England fan"

Beckham's England career is effectively over as Cappello has the temerity to suggest that at 37 David will be 'too old' when the Euro Championship comes round in two years time. Wedderburn pointed out that he simply gave a straight answer to a straight question, but Mick wasn't having that - it's a question of respect. It was like a conversation between two 14 year olds.

Tabloid Review 11/08/10

Short one today 'cos the England stuff is getting rather tedious.

Paul Lewis reviewing, renowned psychology & body language expert, gives us insight into the captain's press conference:

"You could tell Steven Gerrard would have rather been anywhere else by his body language, arms folded, chin buried in his chest...". So no flies on Paul.

MON gets second billing as Villa start to spin against him, for want of a better expression:

The O'Neill backlash begins

There hasn't been any direct word from O'Neill or Villa in the press until now, but this will probably sting Martin into action and ratchet things up a notch. Expect paragraphs on the chairman's megalomania in the not-too-distant future.

Final story, Craig Bellamy's frank interview on Sky yesterday regarding his untenable & precarious position at City. It's a tough one for a journalist this, but Paul eventually decides to blame Craig. Well done, Paul!

SSN tabloid review 10/08/10

Steven 'Steve' Curry's ample bottom in the hot seat today, and only 2 stories in town.

Firstly, Martin O'Neil's surprise resignation yesterday. Steve informs us this is because the club weren't willing to give him the proceeds from the likely sale of James Milner to bolster his squad, which is plausible enough. However, of greater interest to Steve is the revelation that certain Villa players, upon hearing the news MON had gone, were texting pictures of champagne bottles being opened to each other. So assuming this is true, genuinely earth-shattering news that some of the workers don't like the boss.

Final story, Cappello. Steve refers to his friend & ours, Henry Winter, sticking the verbal boot into Fabio: "Henry's a conservative, thoughtful journalist, so this isn't like him". I think I may have spat some of my breakfast out at that point. After a bit of prompting by Mike Wedderburn, Steve elucidated with the following comment and our 'journalist, in the 3rd person, quote of the day' : "Capello has got onto the wrong side of the press, and as we know once that happens your days are numbered". So there it is in black and white, the press certainly believe they can get the England manager sacked.

Sunday Supplement Podcast - 08/08/10

Lots of talk about Cappello obviously after the World Cup debacle; after a very poor campaign I think there is a genuine desire for the squad to change - new blood, building towards the next World Cup - the 'golden generation' should be pensioned off having consistently underachieved.
Seems sensible, doesn't it?
Not to the assembled journos. Apparently, he shouldn't have discarded the squad players who didn't feature at the WC for the upcoming friendly. They weren't really good enough to play in the starting eleven at the WC, but they are good enough now. And by apologising at his press conference last week (not his idea, but he felt like he had to say it, under instruction from the FA apparently) he's become the press's poodle.


"Cappello got the worst out of the players" according to The Sun's Dr. Evil, Rob Beasley.

And

"JT was absolutely right to speak out" - yet the papers panned him for it afterwards, if I remember correctly.

And why do these journalists refer to their colleagues & the rest of the industry in the 3rd person, like things appearing in the press have nothing to do with them?

Plenty of excuses for Rooney's form, largely centered on England "playing in the wrong way". Did England really change the way they played from the successful qualification campaign? If they did it's no wonder the panel were slagging Cappello off.

Onto Liverpool's impending takeover, possibly by the Chinese state. Roy Hodgson gets a glowing report following a routine passage through the first qualifying round of the Europa cup as his tenure begins at one of the established "Big 4" clubs. Not a great deal of concern about the ownership passing to a foreign state, but we're still at the conjecture stage with this. Expect some human rights based hand-wringing should this come to pass... we shall see.

Cesc Fabregas was next up for discussion. He's "totally committed" to the Arsenal cause apparently. No real mention of a summer's worth of tapping-up from Barcelona, which would have been big news if it had been a British club naturally.

Which leads nicely onto Tottenham; the Harry Redknapp love-in continues, but being a friend of the sports media helps dissipate any criticism. Three players will be bought when Tottenham get past Young Boys according to those in the know - no names are mentioned, but 'Arry's hardly behind the door when it comes to discussing transfer targets.

And finally Manchester City. It's been another bumper transfer window for City as they try and force there way onto the Premier League's top table. Rob Beasley "fears that Manchester City are going the same way as Chelsea". As a Manchester City fan, so do I...


Here's a long but interesting piece written by fellow blue Howard Hockin, regarding the MCFC bullshit-merry-go-round which deserves a mention here to illustrate a point regarding City "distorting the transfer market"

http://www.footballfancast.com

Obviously I'm biased, but surely the football glitterati have always distorted the transfer market for everyone below them? It's the law of the jungle, and I can tell you now it's much more fun being at the top of the food chain than the bottom.

MCFC bollocks quote of the day was "It looks like Adebayor is through the door", despite City saying very publicly last Friday that he's wearing the number nine shirt this coming season and will definitely not be leaving.

Some other noteworthy quotes - "Mancini to be out of work by bonfire night" according to Beasley, "City blew Chelsea out of the water" with a £24m bid for James Milner (has Abramovich finally run out of money?) "Craig Bellamy would love to go to Tottenham" but "would he take a £40k pay cut?"
I think that's a bit of a 'no brainer' lads.

Marlon King currently on Radio 5 live...

As we know the prison system is full of innocent men...

Interview after being released from his sentence for sexual assault, sounds like fun.

Damn! Nearly forgot...

What got me re-motivated last night about the blog was Keith Harris's enormous U-turn of a Sky Sports News interview re. the self-styled Red Knights -

As reported in 'print'

I've tried to avoid taking an angle (I did say 'tried') on the whole Red Knights thing as it would have got a bit too partisan which was not my intention when I started the blog... however, followers of the story will find this interesting to say the least.

The interview itself was rather cringeworthy, to be honest, watching the Keith flippantly cutting the umbilical cord to the foetus of the consortium of 'serious businessmen' he was fronting, whilst a framed ManU shirt of yesteryear hung proudly on the wall behind him.

I'm sure at one point he uttered the phrase "it's just business". Blimey Keith. Bit of a change of heart there. Or maybe Orville was hidden behind Keith winding his neck in?

Summer hols / world cup over...

Sorry for the extended break, not sure if I'm going to renew my sky subscription for the new season so will be doing this from the SS podcast which is DREADFUL, I know. Still, £20.50 per month (plus an extra £7 if I want the pleasure of watching in HD) means I'll be doing the decent thing and watching dodgy internet feeds instead.
Anyway, I'm assuming the series starts up again next weekend so hopefully the bullshit brigade will run true to form and give me plenty to moan about...

SkySportsNews update 11/03/10

Boring Darren today, starting off with the biggest story in town - David Beckham's late substitute appearance at Old Trafford. He draped a Green & Yellow scarf around his neck at the end of the game which had incredible meaning (of course), much more than, for instance, the actual result.
Darren is by no means the biggest culprit in the bullshit-and-frippery-merry-go-round Beckham freakshow; I caught a few minutes of TalkSport radio earlier featuring our very own 'five-chins' Curry, who said that "he knew exactly what he was doing when he put that scarf on, he's a born & raised United fan".
Whilst this may be true, it's unlikely he'll be lauded for his bravery in the way Ernesto Guevara has been for the last 40-odd years. Still, it's a good opportunity for someone to print up some t-shirts.

Second billing was Nicklas Bendtner - you will no doubt recall yesterday's myrthsome headline in the Sun regarding an apology.
Darren says Nick has become "a bit too confident"  since his hattrick, after "blanking" the British press and talking only to Danish sports journos following the game. Five-chins will find this hard to believe, having assumed yesterday that Nick would be having a bit of a laugh about that Sun headline, having gotten over the hatchet job the tabs did on him over the weekend. Funnily enough, it appears he hasn't, how dare he take offence.

Lastly the sad news that Chester City has finally been snuffed out, for the sake of approx £26K in unpaid bills. Nobody considered it worth saving which is a great shame. Millionaire ex-Chester City footballer Ian Rush has his say in the Mirror:

I'm not implying anything here.

Paperwatch 10/03/10

Miserable Paul today, starting with news on Nicklas Bendtner's hattrick last night as featured on the back page of the Sun:

An 'apology'

Paul reckons this is a 'really clever headline', he thinks that even Bendtner will 'have a good laugh about it'. Comedy has always been subjective though, I can't stand Freddie Starr but my Dad thinks he's hilarious. Maybe Paul thinks Freddie Starr is hilarious, who knows.

Next back onto the Beckham Bandwagon. Mike Wedderburn enquired as to the nature of David's current relationship with Sir Alex. "He's always said he's like a second Father to him". Judging current press conferences it would appear that Ferguson would very much like to cool this Father - Son relationship, to put it delicately.

Paul then had an acute attack of amnesia and stated that "top players only leave united when Sir Alex wants them gone".

He finished with news on the FA investigation into the transfer of Shaun Wright Phillips from Man City to Chelsea using an unlicenced agent.

Guardian

It's not sexy and there's no Ollie Holt-esque human angle to it, but the award winning David Conn says fines and a points deduction are a possibility; I think the latter is an exceedingly long shot.

Paper review 09/03/10

"Five Chins" and his unique brand of cosy, smug, fawning client journalism today.

He kicked off with a story concerning Theo Walcott, whom Chris Waddle had suggested had "no football brain". He uses his column in the Dail Mail to explain what he means:
Waddle vs. Walcott

In response, one of Curry's mates points out that "at 19 years old, Waddle was making sausages".

Next, onto The Socio-Capitalist struggle that is the thorny issue of ManU ownership. More spice is added (for sports journalists at least) by the return of Beckham for the second leg of the Champions League game against AC Milan. Steve quoted Henry Wanker's piece in today's Telegraph:

"Much fuss has been made about Sir Alex Ferguson knowing some of the Red Knights. So what? Ferguson probably knows some of the Red Arrows."
full article

I'm holding my sides here in an attempt to stop them from splitting, Henry.

There's an epic volte-face in the Guardian concerning Sunday's Observer article which revealed that Ferguson was supporting the Red Knights. We should picture the Guardian sports team furiously back-peddling away from their Observer bretheren whilst muttering "I have never met this man before, officer":

Guardian

Which leads me neatly on to Steve's final flourish on tomorrow evening's game; he a recounts a press conference dominated by questions about Beckham's return to Old Trafford. Ferguson finished this grilling by quipping "that's half an hour of my life I'll never get back".
A sagely chuckling Steve tells us that "Sir Alex has never really seen eye-to-eye with the written press" but then qualifies his own position in the (written press) pecking order with "I've always had , touch wood, a very cordial relationship with Sir Alex"... Imagine Hugh Grant dramatically flicking his floppy fringe here, or more realistically Oliver Hardy Twiddling his tie with a cheeky self-congratulatary smile on his face. this kind of comment brings into focus the partiality of the press and you wonder if sports journalism has lost sight of what it's actually supposed to be doing.

The Supplement 08/03/10

My Sky's on the blink at the moment so I'm working from the podcast unfortunately...

Right, where to start? Biggest stories this week concern ManU & the red knights, and the contracts of 3 players; Shaun Wright Phillips, Jamie Carragher & Joe Cole.

According to the Observer, Alex Ferguson is backing the red knights. However, Alex Feguson has "strenuously denied" this. This doesn't stop our panel from giving this story the seal of approval - "if it wasn't true, they wouldn't have printed it". Excellent logic.

Onto contracts: Shaun wants £75K per week according to the panel. He's bemused, he's not asking for top money at the club, he loves it there and wants to stay. Unless they won't give him £75K per week obviously. Jamie Carragher, at 32, has looked at his situation and decided if he doesn't get a contract offer at Anfield, he's going to have to go elsewhere. This is 'news' apparently.
FInally Joe Cole will be off on a free at the end of the season if Chelsea don't sign him up. As a simple observer, this would suggest to me that Chelsea don't think he's worth a contract. However, the press have decided he's off to ManU, or maybe Spurs, like a dagger in the heart to the Chelsea faithful.

Then we're back onto the England team. Christ. Oliver Holt back on his fucking soapbox about John Terry & the captaincy. Rest assured, if/when England fail to win the World Cup, Oliver will be pontificating about it and blaming Capello, saying if only we'd listened to him we'd be world champions. John must have some very good pictures of Ollie in unnatural poses to get his arse kissed like this. Mind you, hyperbole IS Ollie's speciality. "Portsmouth's victory over Birmingham is an amazing human story". Give it a rest Ollie, for fuck's sake.

Friday 05/03/10

Quiet again today, Darren Lewis presenting only a couple of stories of note.

Firstly concerning an outburst on TalkSport by Ian Wright last night, which gives us an intriguing insight into how the sports media perpetuates its' own headlines. All the papers are carrying the story today, proving the unlikely power of certain individuals within the media:

"City are mugging Shaun off" says Ian Wright in the manner of a mockney actor in 'Green Street', concerning his stepson's desire for a new contract at City. This story has been doing the rounds for a few weeks but seems to have gained some mass mainly due to Shaun scoring for England midweek. We can only assume that former 'Bo Time' presenter Ian Wright got in touch with current 'Bo Time' hierarchy to give voice to his grievances.
Basically, Shaun Wright-Phillips has over 2 years left on his current contract, but would like a raise from his current wage of £60-70-80K per week (depending on who you believe). He has been offfered a new contract but doesn't like it, so stepdad (and all the forces of the media) to the rescue.

Staying in Manchester, we get an update on the self-proclaimed Red Knights, who now have "60 serious investors on board pledging £1.5Bn". This follows a strongly worded rebuttal by United's David Gill claiming they're 'not for sale', borrowing the slogan used by MUST just prior to United being bought by the Glazer family. It's hard to judge which way the press will jump here; synmpathetic (or sychophantic, take your pick) columnists are giving the Red Knights oxygen, but the tabloid press Editors in Chief will be painfully aware that crossing the ManU media machine freezes you out indefinitely.

Finally, the Sky Sports rolling ticker tells us that Team SKY's Bradley Wiggins is currently 31st in a bike race, whilst Lance Armstrong is 35th. They do not tell us who is in the other positions, but I'm sure you'll agree this is amazing news.

Shock News! 04/03/10

Seemingly a total lack of hyperbole this morning, but I did miss the first 5 minutes - sorry about that.
At least we've still got Henry's tweets to keep us amused.

Wednesday 03/03/10

'Misery' McCarthy back on top form today, starting with a few quotes from Fabio Capello and one of the backpage headlines "BLINGLAND".

"Players are too rich, too soon".

Nothing revolutionary in that, but Paul reckons "it's like what Tiger Woods said in his 'mea culpa' speech a couple of weeks ago".

Is it? Sounds to me like Paul just wanted to show that he knows what 'mea culpa' means.

Oliver Holt is still getting upset about John Terry's losing of the armband and is determined to carry on his lonely fight, presumably so he can say "I told you so" when England fail to win the world cup. Very noble.

Holt's Mirror column

Paul reckons this means the papers could effectively select the England squad by scandalising players on the front page. This may be true Paul, so you know what to do, don't you?

Finally onto The Independent and a story concerning the continuing fight by MUST (Man Utd supporters' trust) to oust the current owners, with the help of the self-styled 'Red Knights':

www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/red-knights-we-can-save-united-if-fans-pay-£2500-each

So United fans put £250m in, and the Red Knights will save the club. No such thing as a free lunch eh? Here's Robert Peston's take on things yesterday:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/thereporters/robertpeston/

The Bullshit on Tuesday 02/03/10

Very slow day for bullshit today, you know this when one of David Conn's financial autopsies makes the bench for 5-chins Curry...

David Conn article

From this 5-chins extrapolates that these are "very serious guys" but "they have no desire to run the club themselves, just a desire to return the club to Barcelona-style fan ownership".

Obviously these serious guys got rich on the good, sound socialist principles of giving away massive chunks of their wealth and expecting nothing in return.

The only other bollocks of note is the Henry Wanker article on John Terry:

Henry Wanker

Where did this stuff start about England fans booing Terry? Obviously the bloke's "a bit of a cock" but that hardly sets him apart from any other premier league footballer, does it? If he does get the bird, it'd be more of a reaction to the Cheslea faithful's blind devotion and the press machine's prompting.

Bollocks at Breakfast 01/03/10

Not much real news this morning so plenty of comment instead.

Paul 'miserable' McCarthy started off with some sage words about Michael Owen; he's still holding a candle for Michael's SA chances, but where the encouragement is coming from for this notion is anybody's guess. A hamstring injury sustained yesterday "might be the end of Michael's hopes of getting into the squad". Yes Paul, that'll be it.

With injuries in mind, more comment on Arsenal's Ramsey and his broken leg at Stoke on Saturday.

The boyish Sam Wallace at the Independent says it was "an accident", whilst Martin 8 chins Samuel takes a typical Dail Mail stance and says, with a nod & a wink to satisfy the legal boys of course, that it was deliberate. "How can so many broken legs be down to chance?" he asks. What a clown.

Back to the Bridge vs Terry nonsense, but we'll put miserable's comment aside on this and simply mention the SSN yellow ticker which reports that Terry, commenting on Bellamy's post match comments that "we all know what Terry's like off the pitch", reckons that "people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".

If I was a 13 year-old girl writing on bebo I'd probably postscript that with an LOL.

The Sunday Supplement 28/02/10

Firstly apologies for late report, busy day for the watcher today.

Right, so Paddy Barclay to kick us off - Stoke's 'anti-football' approach, echoed by Custis (N) illustrates the reason why 3 Arsenal players have sustained broken legs in recent years. It's the English mentality to allow upstarts like Stoke to rise above their station and physically intimidate superior artisans such as Arsenal. Tackling is "out of control" according to Paddy.

I'd put it down to awful luck, especially the injury Ramsay sustained yesterday. Surely it's unhelpful and bad taste sensationalising it by laying the blame squarely with Stoke et al.

Onto the continuing uber-dull Wayne Bridge / John Terry saga; Paddy reckons all the press hype made it a better game. Blimey, well done lads! Carlos Tevez "beat the Chelsea back four on his own", too.

I must apologise to '5 chins' Curry here, he said there'd be no handshake, and I doubted him. Silly me. Steve knows. I will never doubt him again.

Next, replacements for ailing England defenders and that problem left back area:

1. Warnock
2. Baines
3. Shorey?
4. The "out-of-control" Shawcross
5. Cahill (G)

Henry Wanker's still banging a drum (from a distance) for Milner of course, given his record in that left back position. His tweets really do make fantastic reading, and afford him special dispensation to appear on this blog without actually appearing on the days' TSS. He towers above his peers like a colossus clad in pastel v-necked cashmere.

Finally, the Carling Cup. "It's a better competition than the FA Cup", according to Custis. Better crowds too, apparently. I think this nugget of complete and utter horseshit is a fitting place to end todays' entry.

The Daily Shite

Oh dear. Only three stories in town today for Darren Lewis, but that's three impressive piles of steaming horse-shit, if you can take it.

Number one, naturally, is Wayne Bridges' decision to stand down from the England squad. What we get is a multitude of differing opinions on this in the papers who all find someone different to blame. The Guardian, naturally, takes the touchy-feely approach and expresses some regret that it's come to this. Oliver Holt in The Mirror is a man apart and blames Fabio Capello for the "circus". The Daily Star lays the blame squarely at Wayne Bridge's door, calling him a "bottler". The only man completely innocent in all this is John Terry, having done absolutely nothing wrong . Which reminds me, did anyone watch 'Green Street' on ITV4 last night? How embarrassing is that!?

Second up, Portsmouth into administration. Like a forgetful stable lad suddenly recalling that he's neglected to do up that door, the players are allegedly considering taking a pay cut. You really couldn't make this shit up (but somebody has to).

Final story from Darren concerned Roberto Mancini's "awful record" at Manchester City (or Manchester United, as Darren called them twice). Now I know a bit about City, and I know his record, though far from perfect, is at least as good as the former managers who the press believe City were wrong to sack (even though they were summoning the vote of confidence demons prior to his dismissal). I look forward to the press nodding sagely as Mancini is dismissed at the end of the season.

Bollocks watch 25/02/10

'5 chins' in the chair again, not much room for bollocks today due to the amount of football last night but we were treated to one non-story of note:

"Wayne Bridge will refuse to shake John Terry's hand in the upcoming weekend fixture".

This is according to close friends of Wayne Bridge apparently. I'm a bit sceptical but the revolution, sorry, the truth, will be televised.

To make a small point, this is the kind of story which relegates Sachin Tendulkar's unbeaten double hundred, in a one day international against excellent opposition, to around the 5th item in the paper review. It's the first time this feat has ever been achieved, and has convinced Nasser Hussain to write that Sachin is probably the best Batsman there has ever been. Still, let's get our priorities right.

Paper review 24/02/10

Today we were treated to Paul McCarthy of The News of the World; I couldn't find a picture of Paul to illustrate unfortunately, but he's the particularly miserable looking one.

Top billing was granted to the always interesting David Conn's piece in The Guardian regarding Premier League finances. It's a sorry state of affairs, which David has seemingly been telling us about for decades. The headline is that "the Premier League is carrying 56% of European football's debt", based on two year old figures. Paul mentioned a plethora of Premier League clubs with special focus on Portsmouth and West Ham, whose combined debt based upon press figures is about £170m. This meant "UEFA wouldn't grant either a European licence" apparently. He didn't mention the Premier Leagues' most indebted club, Manchester United, running at a confirmed £716m, until prompted by Mike Wedderburn. An easy fact to forget I'm sure.

Apart from that not much going on, apart from a few non-stories regarding Fabio Capello and his disciplinary ethos and Jose Mourihno's paranoia. Not even a mention of TEAM SKY this morning. I'll look out for the surf report, if anyone's interested...