Darren's reinforcing his reputation as one of Fleet Street's top bullshitters with his fine work on Talksport, and this morning's SSN appearance saw the lad's fine vein of bollocks continue.
He started off with a subject he evidently knows fuck all about, cricket, and began sticking it to the English players in Australia.
Just to give this a bit of context, England had a bad day yesterday, but there were bright spots. It certainly was not as bad as previous Ashes openers in recent memory, finishing all out for 260 after a nervous start on day one of a 25 day series.
Day 2 has been much more successful, and barring an unfortunate early end due to the weather England could have been pretty much on equal terms by the end of the day's play.
Darren is exceedingly unimpressed however, and told us so. John Davies asked "isn't it a bit early to be writing England off, after the first day?"
"No, because it's how you start..."
No Darren, the accepted sporting wisdom is 'it's not how you start, it's how you finish'. Best stick to footballers, gossip and bollocks, and stop making a tit of yourself.
Which leads nicely onto something he knows lots about, Wayne Rooney.
Wayne's done an interview in the last 24 hours because "he owed the Manchester United fans an apology". Darren used the word "contrite" on several occasions, but the quotes in wide circulation attributed to Rooney don't really match up.
Let's be honest, when has any footballer ever taken responsibility for anything they've ever done, let alone shown any contrition? This precludes that they should even need to to be contrite obviously...
The Rooney saga was simply the usual manner in which top players conduct contract negotiations with Manchester United; club refuses to pay massive wages, player puts it in the public arena, Bacon Face calls in journo harem to report little-boy-lost-bottom-lip-trembling press conference performance (they lap it up naturally), flash mob turns up at Rooney's house and puts the frighteners on his missus, the press turn on Rooney as if he's Josef Fritzl's much more sadistic scouse brother, and eventually he signs a contract stating "I never wanted to leave".
Darren's take on it all:
"It's not Wayne's fault he's the best player in the world..."
Christ on a bike.
