A brief report on this week's podcast highlighting a few notable bits of flim-flam, international breaks limit the amount of tawdry bollocks available for discussion.
Patrick Barclay first with a perplexing analogy in reference to Nigel de Jong's tackle on Hatem Ben Arfa, which is still considered worthy of debate despite the FA seeing no case to answer after 7 days of the witch hunt:
"It's like a drunk driver climbing into his car, he doesn't mean to kill the six year old girl but that is what often happens..."
Wow. Quote of the week right there. We can only assume that Paddy was nursing a particularly painful hangover on Sunday morning.
And best wishes to Hatem Ben Arfa in his rehab obviously.
Neil Custis, David to Shaun's Ed, then gave us a peak into his world regarding the current state of the England team:
"My son won't even wear his England shirt, he'll wear his United shirt instead..."
(His son is 28 years old in case you were wondering)*
And an insight into the Manchester City dressing room 'maelstrom':
"I can't repeat what Mancini said to Tevez, but it wasn't very pleasant"
When he says he "can't repeat it" we should take this as shorthand to mean "he doesn't know".
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
SSN - S. Custis
The line between opinion pieces and factual reporting gets ever fainter; non-story of the week is the England captaincy going back to the fit-again Rio Ferdinand. Steven Gerrard, when asked last week, had stated that if fit he expected Ferdinand would regain the armband. Very sensible, in that he was Capello's choice way back when. Henry Winter's opinion on this 'story' :
Hyperbole and bullshit naturally, but Shaun lifted the lid on Henry's motive for such a piece...
"Henry should declare an interest here, having written Gerrard's biography..." he stated with a chuckle, before adding "mind you, so should I having written Rio Ferdinand's...".
Last night's Monday Night Club on Radio Five Live discussed the same story where 'the Scottish one' (sorry I'm terrible with names) stated that after being told he wasn't going to captain the side, Gerrard "...stormed off to bed." Of even greater concern was the fact that Capello then neglected to tell Ferdinand he would be captaining the side "...until the following morning."
Nearly makes you wish Rooney would climb into bed with another prostitue...
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Unnecessary tackle
After a week of assorted 'journalists' and fuckwitted fans calling for Nigel de Jong to be retrospectively punished for not committing an offence in the execution of a fair tackle, suspended for as long as Ben Arfa is recuperating - Ian Wright and John Collins, you thick twats - or hung-drawn-and-quartered, here's a reminder that Old Ginger Man Time, Player Of The Year 2011 (winner decided in August 2010), just can't tackle < chuckle >.
Thursday, 23 September 2010
Sunday Supplement 19/09/10
One of the few revelations worth mentioning on this weeks SS is an admission of cosy client journalism by the assembled panel, regarding Arsene Wenger & the London press. A flippant comment was made by John Richardson about "...the London press..." being "...in Arsene's pocket".
This was following on from John getting some gentle ribbing about being one of only two sycophantic journalists that Alex Ferguson bothers speaking to, which may well be where the comment originated. Rather than denying the charge, Rob Beasley decided to paint a picture of how things work in such lofty circles; it's hard to pick up whether this was tongue-in-cheek from the podcast but I didn't detect much mirth from his colleagues:
"...Amanda, the press officer at Arsenal, who's sadly leaving the post, always really looks after us all when we visit the club... she spends WELL over the budget on food for us... naturally, this means we give Arsene a bit of latitude and show some sympathy - no - empathy, with what he says...".
This was following on from John getting some gentle ribbing about being one of only two sycophantic journalists that Alex Ferguson bothers speaking to, which may well be where the comment originated. Rather than denying the charge, Rob Beasley decided to paint a picture of how things work in such lofty circles; it's hard to pick up whether this was tongue-in-cheek from the podcast but I didn't detect much mirth from his colleagues:
"...Amanda, the press officer at Arsenal, who's sadly leaving the post, always really looks after us all when we visit the club... she spends WELL over the budget on food for us... naturally, this means we give Arsene a bit of latitude and show some sympathy - no - empathy, with what he says...".
Mick Dennis Quote of the Week
After a torrid couple of days for the organisers of the Commonwealth Games with tales of dogshit & dengue fever, housewives's favourite Mick Dennis got all "geo-political" this morning as he delivered his verdict on the problems in Dehli:
"...India, with a population of 1 billion, and soon to be one of the largest economies in the world, deemed important enough for the Prime Minister to visit leading a trade delegation from the UK... there's a bit more at stake than a few athletes worrying about faulty plug sockets...".
You really couldn't make it up.
Thursday, 9 September 2010
Mick Dennis 09/09/10
If I'm honest, I've been disappointed in recent days by the lack of copy for K&C, but a veritable tour de force of unrelenting bollocks from Mick Dennis this morning, he is truly becoming the enthusiast's bullshitter.
He began with the revelation that Capello will quit the England post when his contract expires after Euro 2012, at the age of 66, following a direct & honest answer to a question posed by Shaun (or Neil, one of the two...) Custis at the latest press conference:
The Sun...
This is the second time the football press have been thrown off guard by a candid answer to a straight question. Would the press prefer it if he avoided the question, or lied?
In typical 'glass half empty' fashion Mick countered this by saying that Fabio "...won't have that choice, should he have a couple of bad results..." in the ongoing qualification campaign. Knives obviously still out for Capello then.
He then added that there'd be plenty of speculation about Fabio's successor over the next two years, but that the FA "...have painted themselves into a corner..." by saying the next manager will be English. Mick isn't convinced there is a decent candidate, believing Woy Hodgson will be 'too old' and that "the FA, for whatever reason, don't seem to think Harry Redknapp is the right choice". Maybe he needs to delve into his employer's archives and read some of the stories regarding Harry's numerous brushes with the law & the tax man in recent times to find a reason why the FA might be avoiding him. Shades of Terry Venables, Mick?
Onto the other other story that will not die - Wayne Rooney. He trotted out some nonsense about him "...literally..." going back home to Colleen (is there another way?), then it turned into a bit of a stutterers convention as Mick shoehorned in a smug anecdote about how he predicted Rooney would have a "great game" after last weekend's controversy, just as he did in 2006 after he'd been caught stuck up some pensioner. Mick, you are indeed a master of your art. Take some notes with you next time though eh?
Mick then instructed the Everton fans not to bother booing Rooney on Saturday as "it won't bother him"... It will, in fact, "make him play better". Wedderburn raised his eyebrows at that statement, as would anyone with a memory longer than 24 hours which is approximately how much time has elapsed since SSN played that clip of Wayne having his little rant-ette after a typically poor performance in South Africa.
Final story (about 15 seconds worth) was the news that Gerard Houllier is now in charge at Villa. Mick was "amazed" that it warranted so little press coverage (third person quote of the day), after spending 15 minutes waffling on about what can be best described as 'tittle-tattle'.
He began with the revelation that Capello will quit the England post when his contract expires after Euro 2012, at the age of 66, following a direct & honest answer to a question posed by Shaun (or Neil, one of the two...) Custis at the latest press conference:
The Sun...
This is the second time the football press have been thrown off guard by a candid answer to a straight question. Would the press prefer it if he avoided the question, or lied?
In typical 'glass half empty' fashion Mick countered this by saying that Fabio "...won't have that choice, should he have a couple of bad results..." in the ongoing qualification campaign. Knives obviously still out for Capello then.
He then added that there'd be plenty of speculation about Fabio's successor over the next two years, but that the FA "...have painted themselves into a corner..." by saying the next manager will be English. Mick isn't convinced there is a decent candidate, believing Woy Hodgson will be 'too old' and that "the FA, for whatever reason, don't seem to think Harry Redknapp is the right choice". Maybe he needs to delve into his employer's archives and read some of the stories regarding Harry's numerous brushes with the law & the tax man in recent times to find a reason why the FA might be avoiding him. Shades of Terry Venables, Mick?
Onto the other other story that will not die - Wayne Rooney. He trotted out some nonsense about him "...literally..." going back home to Colleen (is there another way?), then it turned into a bit of a stutterers convention as Mick shoehorned in a smug anecdote about how he predicted Rooney would have a "great game" after last weekend's controversy, just as he did in 2006 after he'd been caught stuck up some pensioner. Mick, you are indeed a master of your art. Take some notes with you next time though eh?
Mick then instructed the Everton fans not to bother booing Rooney on Saturday as "it won't bother him"... It will, in fact, "make him play better". Wedderburn raised his eyebrows at that statement, as would anyone with a memory longer than 24 hours which is approximately how much time has elapsed since SSN played that clip of Wayne having his little rant-ette after a typically poor performance in South Africa.
Final story (about 15 seconds worth) was the news that Gerard Houllier is now in charge at Villa. Mick was "amazed" that it warranted so little press coverage (third person quote of the day), after spending 15 minutes waffling on about what can be best described as 'tittle-tattle'.
Tuesday, 7 September 2010
Ugly Bloke Pays Prostitute for Sex shocker!!!
Roll on the weekend and a return to Premiership fixtures...
Still haven't had chance to listen to last weekend's SS but I can guess its main content; the last couple of mornings paper reviews have been the usual assorted sensationalist drivel about England but the most repeated mantra appears to be that we, as football fans, "demand" stories about our idols behaving like council estate scrotes (no offence, council estate scrotes). It certainly doesn't seem to harm the tabloid's sales figures, but I would suggest that the people who "...have an enormous appetite for..." these kind of stories aren't the kind of football fans that I'm acquainted with.
Still, there's another few inches of text for them to put towards the figures so maybe they're right afterall.
Still haven't had chance to listen to last weekend's SS but I can guess its main content; the last couple of mornings paper reviews have been the usual assorted sensationalist drivel about England but the most repeated mantra appears to be that we, as football fans, "demand" stories about our idols behaving like council estate scrotes (no offence, council estate scrotes). It certainly doesn't seem to harm the tabloid's sales figures, but I would suggest that the people who "...have an enormous appetite for..." these kind of stories aren't the kind of football fans that I'm acquainted with.
Still, there's another few inches of text for them to put towards the figures so maybe they're right afterall.
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